Question of the Week #1

Are some things better off left unsaid? If so, are there subjects that should not be mentioned?

Every couple has certain fundamental areas of communication that are difficult to navigate. When one partner is very religious and wants to raise his/her child in that manner, the other partner may not be religious at all. Should this couple avoid the issue?

The quick answer is no. Avoiding any topic in a relationship is not a good blanket policy. However, this topic, as well as many others, sometimes won't ever reach a perfect solution. Oftentimes, a couple must learn to disagree or realize they will never be able to arrive at a decision where both individuals are equally happy.

Other examples of generally difficult topic areas are:

  • If/when to have a kid
  • Relocating for work or for other reasons
  • Which spouse should be the stay-at-home parent
  • Where money is spent

This list is not exhaustive. Keep in mind that no two couples are exactly alike, so try not to compare yourself to your friends, family, or other couples you come across. Chances are good they have their share of difficult topic areas. Where you should focus your energy is on communication and acceptance. While you and your partner may not be able to reach a perfect solution to the issue at hand, communicating effectively and conveying acceptance of your partner's individual differences will go a long way towards both of you moving beyond this issue.

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