Starting a new relationship is exciting and is full of growth and exploration. Each day offers new insights about your partner and opportunities to grow as an individual as you enter the world that you and your partner create. You and your partner are laying the foundation for the future of your relationship, and you are wise to be thinking that a strong foundation can support your relationship in the months and years ahead. How can couples establish this foundation? And how can they avoid the pitfalls that so many couples seem to confront?
What’s Important To Keep In Mind
New couples are on a high. These feelings are like a drug, and in fact new research suggests that love actually activates brain centers that regulate how we experience drugs and other powerful rewards. And it is one of nature’s greatest gifts that we have the opportunity to experience this potent feeling of security, desirability, and connection. One important goal for new couples is to sustain the positive momentum created by these feelings, while also developing or strengthening the skills needed to keep the great feelings from diminishing.
How We Can Help
All relationships, regardless of whether they are new or not, are governed by the combination of three fundamental forces. In our seminars at The Relationship Institute we refer to these forces as the Relationship Triad. They are:
- Individual Differences: Who you and your partner are as unique individuals
- Communication: The ways you and your partner talk to one another and give meaning to your communication
- Stress: The challenges and stresses you and your partner encounter
No matter how good your relationship is now, it will change. Some relationships change for the better, growing stronger with each passing day. But we also know from the national divorce statistics that many relationships will deteriorate or just lose their special glow. Over time, as you get to know your partner, individual differences that were initially overlooked can begin to tax the relationship. Stresses and strains that were not present at the start of the relationship suddenly arise, occupying much of your energy and focus, and distracting you from the relationship that you value so much.
We mention these points, not to dampen the wonderful feelings that new couples are experiencing, but to remind couples that they can take active steps to keep these wonderful feelings alive in their partnership. In one way or another, all such active steps involve the three forces we have identified here: who you are as unique people, how you and your partner express and respond to your thoughts and feelings, and the stresses and strains that affect you and your intimate bond. All couples can benefit from recognizing and understanding how these three forces operate, and couples who do so are more likely to thrive than falter.
Right now your relationship is great, and now is the perfect time to understand how to keep it that way. Why not take advantage of the huge high you’re currently experiencing and learn the best ways to keep these feelings flowing? Consider this: when is the best time to learn a new activity or sport -- when you are flexible, feeling good, and motivated? Or when your muscles are tight, you are feeling frustrated and discouraged, and running out of patience?
The Relationship Institute’s seminars and workshops are designed to bring out the key strengths in your relationship while also alerting you to some of the core danger zones that create problems for other couples. Our seminars focus on the practical skills and knowledge that you need to build a happy and secure future together. Your relationship is great, and our goal is to distill the wisdom from all kinds of research to help ensure that your relationship stays this way.
Learn more about how to keep the good times rolling by attending our Foundations Seminar or Advanced Topics Seminars. If you prefer a more personalized experience, we recommend our new Premium Couples Workshop.