Singles & Dating

You may be wondering why we include singles and committed dating couples here. The answer is simple: The initial phase of all intimate relationships is important. This is when partners are getting to know each other and when they are testing the waters of a committed partnership. The choices that people make at this stage will affect them for many years to come. Now is a good time to learn why some relationships thrive while others struggle, and the best ways to achieve the kind of relationship you both really want.

How We Can Help

Our view, based on an extensive analysis of the scientific literature about relationships, is that all relationships are a function of three big forces. We call these the Relationship Triad and they consist of:

• Individual Differences: Who you and your partner are as unique individuals
• Communication: The ways you and your partner talk to one another and give meaning to your communication
• Stress: The challenges and stresses you and your partner encounter

For people early on in the formation of a relationship, several tasks are crucial:

First, you are likely to benefit from conversations that allow you to know more about one another in the ways that really matter. What is it about you that makes you special, and that you really want your partner to understand and appreciate? And what is it about you that allows you to reach out to your partner so that he or she feels understood and validated. And what is it about each of you that might hinder that process?

Chances are your communication is pretty good or you would not have started to date. But is your communication where it needs to be for a committed relationship to develop? Are the fundamentals of your communication basically sound? This is an important second task.

The final element of the Relationship Triad is stress. Are there some kinds of stress that you know you and your partner will be encountering – either because of your jobs or your family situation? Will you have some good ideas and plans for managing the kinds of challenges that most couples face?

Our seminars are decidedly up-beat and positive. We want to work with couples of all kinds to bring out the best that the two partners can provide to one another. For couples who are still forming the foundation of their relationship, we believe we can offer some special insights into how relationships work and how relationships can best adapt to the changes that await.

While the majority of our seminars are geared towards couples in committed relationships, we do occasionally have Advanced Topics Seminars that deal with topics relevant to people who are dating, such as "How to Choose the Right Partner."